This is not where I wanted to be. After spending 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a whale, having my clothes reduced to rags, my skin and hair bleached white, and what was left of my beard was matted by the most disgusting stickiness of a "big fish mucous ball". To top it off, the fish had hurled me onto the beach like the vomit I had become because of my inability to see mercy. Only judgement raining down, even on the innocent, would satisfy my sense of warped purpose. Think about it! God would have me preach fiery judgement, and then when the multitudes would turn to Him, He would have mercy, the fire would not come down, and I would look Like a powerless idiot.
Why should grace and mercy be there for those who don't deserve it? The problem with me was so simple that I could not see it -- I was more devoted to my reputation than God's.
"His mercy endures forever!" from my perspective, was a promise for the elite, the separated and set apart for His glory and His purpose ... right? "His mercy endures forever!" is not for the Godless, flesh glorifying, sin loving reprobates that just need to be wiped off of the face of the earth.(Man was I steaming, after I waited outside the city that I just preached God's Fiery Judgement to ...anxiously awaiting the fire to fall, but it did not; I give up).
They heard the message and repented AND GOD GAVE THEM MERCY --- NOT FAIR!!!
It was a city full of perverted sexual activity at the highest level ... rape and incest was rampant, maiming and murder was a justified response, the offering of infants and children to the fire of idols was the highest form of worship ... the whole city partied as the children screamed for their lives.
Fear and injustice was the order of the day ... God should have not warned them, He should have just poured out His fiery wrath and been done.
Now here I sit under a stinking juniper tree as I watch a beautiful gourd destroyed from the inside out by a stinking worm ... and I slipped off into the numb sleep of a fool; but man, something is fishy here.
Hey -- Although I am not Jonah --- I think I understand the concept of seeing the blessing of God in the lives of others but not seeing His blessing in my life.
I try to make the right decisions and do the right things. But unknowingly, I set myself up for the kill by the corruption of real JOY by my choice to live under the constant oppression of my negative, stinking thought life. I am plagued by a self inflicted depravation caused by continual negative prophetical utterances over my life. I have become my worst enemy. Here is a sampling of some of my debilitating self talk:
"God does good things for others ... but He never does that for me."
"God cares about everyone else but not me."
"The darkness in my life is too dark for God's light to overcome."
"I must be beyond help"
"I am useless to God."
"I must be under a curse."
"I will never ________ (fill in the blank) --- never, never, never!"
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things (food, clothing, position, purpose, etc.) will be added unto you". Matt. 6:33 -- We have it backwards, while striving for the "things", we easily loose sight of real life -found only in Jesus.
"Oh God, Thou art my God, early will I seek thee!" Psalm 63:1
"I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus!" Phil. 3:14
Hey ... I think I have it dumbed down for even me ...
Start every day with a Rugged Cross and Resurrection focus, the Word to my ear and flowing in my heart, and with a grateful heart ... live a life in all prayer and all thanksgiving.
He is my righteousness (rest) - He is MY GOD(trust) - He is my prize (win), my high calling is to empty myself of me "early" - in the beginning of each new day and like Him... take on the form of the lowliest, the servant. Weep with those that weep and rejoice with those that rejoice.
Yes there will be tough days of broken body and broken dreams but He is with us in those moments to see us through ... be ever thankful. Don't live in regretful bitterness.
Jesus Could have called 12 legions of angels - 12 x 12,000 = 144,000 (One angel mentioned in Isaiah 37:36 - in a battle to protect Israel, killed 185,000) -- 185,000 x 144,000 = 26,640,000,000 people. With the world census clock ticking at about 7.5 billion people on planet earth -- God had (during his days on the planet) and has (during our days on the planet) enough Angelic fire power to cleanse the world of mankind BUT that was not the choice of His character.
"For God so loved the world (not just mankind), that He gave His only begotten Son (a personal price paid that could far outweigh all the guilt of 26,640,000,000 humans), that whosoever(anyone) believes on Him should not perish(lost forever separated from God), but have everlasting life (with Him now, and forever)". John 3:16
HLFA,
Jeff
Phil. 2:6 - " Who in the beginning positioned Himself "below" in the form of God, did not deem to lead by seizing to appear equal with God".... Wow He chose to be a nobody that could save everybody and anybody that would believe on Him. Why do we see every one else's blessing but not our own?
Blessing Seeking lesson # 1 - Let His Grace and His Mercy rule your life in His Love.