Ageless Gazer

Psalm 56 has been my companion this week as we raced down highways and byways doing our best to get from point A to point B, and then at point B do the tasks required so we could get from point B back to point A at a reasonable hour to have a life (just the thought of all that wandering wears me out!) In that racing there were "snapshots of the heart" that captured my meditations... and one I will carry to you for the soul's purpose of reflection and possible vision redirection.

Psalm 56:8 - "You can recall all my aimless fluttering "to and fro" like a tale that is told; you must put my tears into your bottle, are they not already in your book?"

Ageless Gazer, that is what I will call him. We were watching yellow and white lines flip by with the miles as we passed by him. There he stood alongside of a dilapidated, ivy vine-overrun-shack of a house, that almost bled over onto the highway. Ear muffed hat (one muff up -one down); tattered, lined jean jacket that was improperly buttoned(possibly because of a button loss); roughed up jeans hanging at different leg lengths as they oddly draped a pair of big open clod-hopper type of boots ....he just stood there... he just stood staring to the East, to the sun rise, with a smile on his face.

"What good is he to you God, and what grand purpose is he performing for the Kingdom? He appears to have no plan, no forward movement, no lasting accomplishments with exception of his world that he stands in - that was falling down all around him." "If he has surrendered all then he should be busy ministering to everyone he comes in contact with."

The blush that I felt overcoming me caused tears to blurry my vision, and my heart beat sounded louder than the driving music in the car. I discovered "that heart" within me which is so desperately wicked and momentarily scorned my thoughts. I found my self cruelly thinking thoughts of human worth devaluation until the Spirit cried out to my spirit -- "His value is in the fact that I love Him, and he loves me! What does it matter to you?"

There is such a strong desire to see God in His people, that leaders and peers will add pressure to that already overarching ache ...Too much trying, too much crying, too many plans, too much practice, too much performance, too many promises...all from the brokenness of our lives. Our hope in this grand endeavor: that the Comforter will be made welcome and comfortable because of us (this almost borders obscene). It is all that we can do to make it appear that we are OK to strangers and with a little more effort... to each other.

We have yet to realize the power vested in us, though we are clay vessels. Common earthen vessels, broken in the fact that life as we know it chips at us day by day. But here is the awesome unseen reality of God's plan ... as we decrease, He increases ... as we realize our weakness, He reveals his strength ... As we wait, He works ... As we humble our selves, He lifts us up. Our value is found, and stabilized by His Word... in the fact that Jesus Loves us. We love him because He first loved us.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the real power of a man's life that affects eternal change, is based on the times of anonymous Godly living in an ungodly world, that is fueled by his soul desired secret moments to intimately know his God. Events that have changed the course of spiritual history have not been wrought by the strong faith actions of Godly men and women, but by the fragile dependence of the spiritually battered on the gracious intervention of an Almighty God.

Ageless Gazer, I did not know that you were offering your last words of supplication that brought us protection on the highways and safe passage to our home. Ageless Gazer ... without a word and only your passing image am I challenged to let God love me more.

Walk with God, First ... "O God, Thou art my God, early will I seek Thee, my soul thirsteth for Thee, my flesh longeth for Thee; in a dry and thirst land where no water is." - Psalm 63:1

HLFA,

Jeff

Keep the Light on for Tim

I stooped down so as to very gently reach out and choose what I thought was the most exquisite grain of sand that I had ever seen. I carefully lifted this choice grain of sand and separated it from all the other normal sand that had been resting within the hundreds of miles of Atlantic shore line. At the very same moment that I was going to observe it within the palm of my hand, a sharp blast of ocean air caught it in a quick wisp of irreverent breeze and immediately deposited it beyond my vision. In that moment I held a snapshot of life on this side of Heaven, a life with no differentiation and with no lasting connection. A life Lost!

My memory took me to two named Tim, who are no longer with us – Similarities? They both we greatly talented, greatly admired, great personalities, and they were greatly blessed with possessions and possibilities. They both had families and friends that appeared to love them very much. Everyone that met them wanted to be a friend of “Tim”. Both, though, had painful secret scars that made it impossible to live life … as it was. “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose (incur irreparable damage to) his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange (of equal value) for his soul?” Matthew 16:26

One Tim decided that there was no reason to live at all; he didn't show up for school one day for he decided to “check out” … by his choice, carbon monoxide over came him via a vacuum hose from the tail pipe of a family car. Family and friends were devastated … no satisfying answers as to why. No one saw it coming … though the day before he had tried to call out for help, but no one took him seriously … he had everything! Everything except a reason to live. “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world and lose (incur irreparable damage to) his own soul?” Mark 8:36

The other Tim decided that God's purpose-filled relationship for a man and a woman was an illusion, a mirage, a non-fulfilling proposition, and for these reasons he could not live his life as expected by others. With this decision of heart, he would pursue men as “love” partners until he was diagnosed and found dying of AIDS (At which time, in the presence of his Mom and Dad, he acknowledged his life choice as an offense to his God, family and friends ... and turned his heart back to God). “For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose (incur irreparable damage to) himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:25

This is not meant to be a proclamation of judgment on either of these two souls … but I want to reflect from the vantage point of the three scriptures quoted. Both of these Tim s were not ashamed of Jesus, but here may be the disconnect … not having “another” who was not afraid to make known their scars:

Trying to find lasting connective eternal advantage in this life's temporary and fading adornment will cause damage the soul (our breath of life) in a potentially irreparable way (if it were not for Jesus). If one gives away the essence of what he is (from an eternal vantage point) to establish his independence from God, he will not only damage His connection upward but also connections outward.

The Tim-s of this world need so desperately to hear, that the cry of their scars will only strengthen their connection to Heaven not void it. Yes, Sin devastates and debilitates; but Christ forgives and restores new purpose. They need to hear that our scars can be made beautiful and useful; and when seen in the pure light of Heaven, they have been covered by blood of Jesus.

We are not grains of sand lost in the sea of sand – We are fragile souls that will spend eternity in Heaven or Hell based on our reception or rejection of the only remedy for our lost souls … Jesus. His Name is the ONLY Name under Heaven, given among men whereby we MUST be saved. Sin is our deadly incurable infirmity, Jesus, God's only satisfying payment for our sin, is eternity's only miracle of life remedy.

If you truly believe this – keep your light on for Tim, don't hide it under the “I'm OK” bushel basket disguise. I am not OK, but I have been forgiven and restored; and my Jesus story must be heard. This Hope hidden will never heal those whose secret scars have damaged them beyond their vision of God's ability to restore. If He restored me, He can restore anyone.

                                 Our souls will bear scars... from here to There in time.
                   Some inscribed by viscous suffering, some branded by shame filled crime.
                Lay bare your scars, His forgiven ones, knowing Healing in His Scars Divine,
                Share your scars as a sacred vessel to rescue those that are hope-lost and blind.

HLFA,

Jeff     

Beautiful Feet - With Shoes - Silver

“How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O Prince's Daughter! The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.” Song of Solomon 7:1.
My first glance at her, that totally captivated my imagination, was actually veiled through the protective barrier of two passing sports-car windshields. The image of her long, beautiful, medium dark brown auburn-hued hair, and her dark flashing eyes (that pierced the distance between me and her amazingly angel-like facial features) carried my heart into wonder … “could she ever be mine, and I hers?”

Then the two cars stopped. The driver of the car that I had been riding in, was also momentarily smitten by the sight of the passenger of the other car. During a brief exchange of small and meaningless words, my seat was given to the passenger of the other car while I was left standing between the two cars without transportation. The beautifully mysterious driver of the other car and I were left awkwardly with a decision (and I know this made her very uncomfortable)… what to do with me? To my heart's surprise, there was a reluctant waive to enter the passenger's seat of the other car, her car. Although I was thoroughly pleased with the awkward arrangement, she was determined for the moment, that this would be my last ride in her car.

The ride began abruptly with a chirp of back tires spinning; (now remember this is my imagination, my internal movie of historic events that changed life as I knew it forever) … leather clad hands masterfully turning the steering wheel and slapping the gear shift that were amazingly synchronized with beautifully fitted, leather “Bass” shoe-covered feet that danced with perfect timing between the clutch, brake, and gas petal. Although she kept my one hand gripping the seat and the other hand becoming one with the door handle as she tried so ardently to remove me from the equation (never to step foot into her car again); the mixture of the fear for my life, the awkwardness of the moment and the ravishing beauty seated beside me … my heart was slain... I had to know her... Her efforts to ban me only incensed my desire for more of her.

Love had started His work although in two different directions and at two different speeds … Love was alive although we did not know Him yet. There are so many other events that I keep in my “love memory” treasure chest. I will bring them out from time to time for further embellishment so that my love stays alive.

There is no one to compare to the “beauty” that stole my heart on “that ride” other than Jesus. And in the grand scheme of both of our eternities, that awkward meeting was the beginning of shared joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, gain and loss, during good and bad days ahead, that we would share together. As we grew together, it became evident that God really wanted us together … He was “the” topic of discussion between us before we even knew Him, both in writing, in art, in music and distance that we shared as we grew together. On the same night in May, of a pivotal year, we were both introduced to Jesus by my brother Joe, thus beginning our journey as two individuals following Jesus, together; and then later, as God would have it: Two as One in following Him on September 7th of the next sequential year.

The beauty of my beloved and God's beloved are very similar (since she is His beloved also): “How beautiful are thy feet with shoes,” – My beloved has always had the coolest shoes for every occasion (now don't lose me thinking that I have a crazy “foot/shoe fetish”) - I think my favorite were a pair of brown, rough, and rugged, tie up, “bass” shoes. These shoes were a simple design fit to the contour of the foot, and looked exquisite during walks along streams and mountain pathways. This shoe has been captured in my heart because it spoke to me of her style, her commitment, her purity, her strength, her mystery, and her connection with this world and her connection with Heaven … Sure, Pure and uncomplicated. Her beauty is founded in a faith in a Saviour, that is with her as she pushes ahead no matter what the obstacle. Her honesty, even with her momentary disappointments with God, have led us both into some of the most amazing love adventures that our lives will ever see.

My love has not diminished, her beauty has not faded from my heart, because He who is “Altogether lovely” is the adornment of the beautiful shoe that we both wear... now and for all eternity. O , if only the world around us could be captured by the “How beautiful are the feet”of those who bring the glad tidings of the Gospel of Peace!"

Happiest of Anniversaries my queen, my bride, my love!
I still love you, more! And more!

HLFA,

 Jeff

Dancing in the Midst of the Battle

Staring in the mirror didn't make matters better. There seemed to be a stark contrast between what her Beloved had said about her and what her family proclaimed on a daily basis. "You are too dark and serious in your search for life!" "Your attitude about your "Beloved" is embarrassing us, like He is the only 'All Together Lovely One' ". "Your ambititions are too high and lofty for such a lowly one like you". O could there not be a willing heart to side with her, for then she could ride the chariots of love into the battle to proclaim the victory surrender? Would there not be any that would join her in the dance?

As she walked away from her family and friends, there seemed to be an ache in her soul that even their hearts could not deny. She knew she was a broken vessel, but she pulled His blood stained veil over her and moved to join Her Love in the Midst of the Battle.

Song of Solomon 6:12 - "Or ever I was aware, my soul made me like the chariots of Amminadib." If ever it was known, my soul positioned me as one riding upon the willingness of the people, my soul rides freely upon a willing people.
Song of Solomon 6:13 - "Return, return, O Shulamite; return, that we may look upon thee. What will ye see in the Shulamite? As it were the company of two armies." Return, return, O Perfectly Peaceful One (Blessed are the peace makers); return... what will we see in the Perfectly Peaceful One? This One Dances between two encampments in the midst of the raging battle.

Dust, blood, smoke, flame, loss of love, hope and fame. Clashing, crashing metal, splintering wood, bone, and frame. Searing pain, limbless cries, numbing suicidal shame... the violent take the kingdom by force, but the hearts of the realm are sick of love. The dead and living cry out for the Perfect Peace with no sound of it to come. Then right in the middle of the of the fray ... begins the dance of the Shulamite, the dance that moves to a melody resounding through all eternity:

"The Lord thy God in the Midst of thee is mighty, He will save...He will rejoice over thee with joy,

He will rest in His love, He will sing over thee with joy"...Zephaniah 3:17.Our Lord God is mighty in the midst of His two encampments - "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, as in Heaven, so in Earth"... In the "Midst" is where His voice is heard ... hear the song of the Almighty, the Lover of your soul. He sings to come to Him ... - "as deep calls unto deep"...When the "Beloved" comes into the Midst of the two encampments to be with Her Desired Love, and hears the beautiful melody of His Song of Love over her ... she begins her responsive dance of Perfect Peace. The Battle no longer matters, all fear is gone... "My Beloved is mine and I am His." And peace begins to ripple out in every direction from her dance.

Hear the song, join the dance ... there is a King welcoming you, but you must come via His song ... join in with life fully alive in the Song of Jesus!

HLFA,

Jeff