Delight...is it what I am thinking?

Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

I wonder if any of us would even get it? He was “the man”, though now in his Eighties, he had built the business from one retail/service center to the eighth largest business of it's kind in the US. And she was the current voice that would greet incoming phone calls, and the isolated face that would welcome visitors in a small waiting room. She would offer them a seat and announce them to their corporate connection further back in the belly of the business complex where he had a “now”rarely visited corner office. If you met either of them on the street your eye may not even start to capture the essence of their existence.

Daily, there would be a performance of love and care that would give them both the sense of grateful significance, but this performance would not take place immediately in the day, that would be too conspicuous; but this vital event would happen through the process of the mornings first couple of hours.

He would arrive to his corner office that was slightly isolated from the rest of the booming business now under the oversight of his son. She would arrive and take her place in a solitary cubical near the front door, “the reception area” that was isolated also from the rest of the booming business just down the hall. When not in, his office would be dark and clean, nothing like the decision cluttered office of his formidable years.  When she was not there, her cubicle would sit empty and neat, and she would be replaced by a sign that would direct visitors to the first receptionist around the corner.

At the decided moment of the morn, determined by the elderly statesman, he would purposefully leave his office and walk past her cubicle but not with out the most sincere “Good Morning, it is so good to see you today”. She would beam back a smile and a similar greeting. He would continue past her cubicle to the retail center comfort center and grab two cups of hot chocolate, one for him and one for her. The one for her would be royally received by her as he would deliver it to her cubicle before heading back to his office.

My gift for my Thursday morning was to be the blessed observer of “the performance”. I was the timely visitor in the small waiting room as the scene unfolded before my eyes. I watched as life and glow filled the room during that mutually longed for event. He was beaming with pride and care as he handed her the daily Hot chocolate, while she sincerely radiated with the reception of that simple gift (Oh, by the way … it was free for anyone in the comfort center next door, but here it had a value that surpassed gold and silver).

When the performance had concluded,and he continued back to his corner office, she stood to peer above the fogged glass that topped her cubicle, to tell me how cold, cruel, impersonal and rude the world was becoming around us … she said with tears in her eyes “ He'll never know how much that daily gift of hot Chocolate means to me, and I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't like hot chocolate because the “giving” means so much to him and me”.  Wow … I was so humbled.

Now as I reflected on the depth of a familiar passage of scripture, that had emerged earlier in the week from my heart's treasure vault... “Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” ...the Hebrew which was once hidden in meditation now came alive. When I, with tender and exquisite delight, focus more on the Lord's gracious movements in His act of delivering daily blessings to me, my heart gets what it so desperately requests and desires … significance in knowing He actively loves me. Our hearts truly do not desires things … the desire of our heart is to be loved.

Today it really didn't matter, the request or the words exchanged … I was treated with contempt and disdain. Any verbalization that remotely felt like a reasonable request was shot down immediately with sarcasm. Embarrassment seemed to be the cruel game plan predetermined for my life. Every bit of energy spent was dust in the wind, because at the end of the day it would buy further groans and distance from those that I needed to appreciate me.... This is actually a hurt that most hearts carry daily (some is self inflicted but most is happening in real time) … they want so much to be loved, to be significant, to be given the attention that says “you matter to me”.

In your daily efforts to acquire... do you leave a trail of devaluation in the wake of your “trying to get ahead”, or does your life and living bring value and significance to the lives of others? Focus on Him and His process of giving you significance, and your life will bring value to others. You say, “I'm not getting it!” Wash your heart with His word, and open your eyes to a rugged cross and an empty tomb … just stare away … you'll get it.

We need each other.

HLFA,

Jeff

Oh Those Eyes!

I can see it like it was yesterday, although he has changed faces, times and places, He still has those beautiful heaven-wonder eyes. Whether deep blue, dark brown, alfalfa field green or hazelnut swirl, those eyes are poking a hole in my inner most being and tugging tears from my aching soul.

I can still sense the texture of his hair (whether dark and matted, cotton candy-like blond, bristly brown, or fiery red) as the fingers of my spirit trace a blessing through each colorful tangle. He is standing outside a large entry door with his rosy cheeked face pressed to the glass making a most awkward expression causing me laugh over and over again.

I see him turning in a crowd looking back at me as the crowd swallows him up once again, but I saw those eyes as he melted away into anonymity, and I sensed the ache of life from his soul … “Where will I go?” ...”Who will love me no matter what?” … “Who will protect my innocence or drag it from my life and rape me of an opportunity to know real love?” Oh, the hurtful look!

Even when I close my eyes I can hear his youthful voice in all it's glory of fresh expression and whimsical questions full of mispronounced words uttered only to create a bridge to my heart. “If God is way up there how can he see me way down here? He must have really good eyes!” “With all the hurting people in the world God must have a really big broken heart...don't you think?”

Through his simplicity biased heart, he senses God feels more, sees the smallest hurt, hears the faintest cry and has the potential to care, give and love so much more than anyone on Earth. He will be comforted in knowing that God cried when the little birdie died in the front yard, even though no one else saw it happen or showed up for the dew glazed funeral … “God cares, yes He does!” “Oh yes He does!” He will argue this until he is blue in the face.

Somehow I have sensed him, in the moments that I have seen the final brokenness on display within the homes of the “funeral”. I even thought I've caught him peeking at me beyond the shrubbery of the memorial garden lanes as if to let me know … “I'm OK, my Jesus has called me home to play!”

No more brokenness, no more lies, no more fear, no more night, no more pain, no more heartache, no more scars, no more stains, no more death. “I can see Jesus now, trust me, He is altogether beautiful!”

“Come unto Him all ye that are heave laden ...and He will give you rest...fer sure.”

Matthew 18: 1. At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? 2. And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, 3. And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4.Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5.And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. 6. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Satan and the fallen world we live in are doing everything in their power to destroy the little ones.

That is just the way it is for now, but Jesus is calling the little ones to come to Him. Are you part of that calling? Do not take part with the Scandalmongers who take pride in crushing innocence. Live a life that openly demonstrates a simple childlike faith in Jesus and celebrate the beauty of His pure love for us.

Was it that your heart was made to be broken, was it that your eyes were made for tears and not joy?


HLFA,

Jeff

In the waxing cold of the hearts of the last generation, with the faith of many faltering there too. There's a child looking on, left alone and thought unable. But the Faith that burns inside his heart cries, "Jesus I love you!"Borrowed from "Little Child" 1973 J.J. Redding

Acknowledge Him


I can still hear the otherworldly screams that exuded from my parched lips. I can still smell the stench of rotting bones of other men within the habitat of my daily residing. I can still taste the salt of my tears mixed with the blood of my self inflicted wounds as I would cut myself, relentlessly, and without mercy. I can still feel the reverberating voices of my unseen Captures and their ungodly and unholy demands ripping at me from somewhere inside of my life. Somewhere way in the distance, I saw what I think may have been my wife and beautiful daughter, and the terrified look in their eyes as the growing distance would leave them crippled in the shadows. “He is not himself, he needs some help” … would be words that would  ride a broken tremolo to my ears as I would whirl into a most vehement frenzy of self desecration, and as I would break any hope of restraint to help.   Like a helpless rag doll victim in a terrifying uncontrollable downward free-fall, I was spinning out of control within my miserable circumstances and was waiting for an inevitable catastrophic end (hoping that might bring relief).

Somewhere near, yet feeling so far away … a presence walked onto the shore of my war torn life with such a display of authority that my Captures threw me at His feet without hesitation. They were begging for mercy like I had done for so many turns of agonizing days. Now in this moment, a rescue was enacted, that to this day makes me keenly aware that I am now eternally secure in His everlasting arms. In one incredible moment my rescue will caused so much fear in my countrymen that I will watch them plea “depart from us” to Jesus, my Rescuer; though I myself am seated calmly on my own accord and am fully clothed (hardly recognizable). Strange turn of events!

Without a fight, my Rescuer turns with His Twelve and begins to board the small fishing boat that had brought them to my so lonely shore. As I look about I assume my place should be with Him and begin to follow, but He turns,gently speaks words deep into my soul unshackling the final shame, and bids me to return home to tell of the great compassion I have found this day. Although my my heart ached that I could not follow at this time, I knew that the gift I had been given would pull me full circle to be with Him again someday. My life would now be an object lesson of His great mercy, love and grace … Hallelujah! I was now one of His praise makers.

Proverbs 3:5,6 -Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all “thy ways” acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

  • Our road, way, path ahead begins with a choice to know and trust Him at the Cross road.
  • Our journey on the way is to learn to know Him more and more every day.
  • Our direction is to perceive and see, to find out and discern Him working in our lives.
  • Our manner, habit, way of life is to longingly distinguish and display the joy life with Him.
  • Our of course of life is to know by experience His desire for us and others through us.
  • Our moral character growth is to recognize, admit, acknowledge, confess any deviations.

He shall direct (this is an intensely intentional choice of God for us – He shall direct) {He makes right, He makes smooth, He makes straight} our lives in a way, that even the greatest events that could negatively impact our lives will become the greatest source of God's love story to us and through us.

Sometimes following Jesus means that we turn by direction of His Voice, to show His compassion in the places we may have caused devastation. “Amor Conquista Todo” (Love conquers all) Live for Jesus!!!

HLFA,

Jeff