I am feeling a little awkward at this moment. I am not here; but what's left of me is. No one is looking directly at me, although I am the big topic of conversation. I have never seen such an array of emotions put on display at any one given time like this. There is a thick serious spirit hanging over even the lightest of conversations; while All with slightly wetted eyes seem to be looking for something that they cannot see.
The achievements of my life have been noted, and listed in a little less than 300 words so that my life and associations would fit on one side of a quickly printed 8 1/2" x 11" folded handout. (The order of the show that will be put on for those who have gathered has actually occupied as much printed space as my deducted achievements). There Pictures and Impressions of me posted for all to see, so that they might connect with me, my family and the moment; while stories of these connections and other moments may only be stated to prove the qualifications of those that have joined in this gathering. I am still, I am not invited into the conversations; I am all but voiceless.
In my life, much like the prophesy of the Savior ... "For I Have heard the slander of many, fear was on every side; while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life. Psalm 31:13" Why did they want me to diminish my love for Real Life? I truly could tell that I did not fit. When I spoke, my listeners' eyes would glaze over and they would start looking for another to converse with. Those who were polite would give me a pat on the back and a quick meaningless blessing to push me on my way.
But I had questions, and I needed answers. I had dreams and aspirations that were quickly dismissed as the babblings of a social idiot. "He is beside himself!" The crying out of the prophetic mad man in not received even by his own kinsmen in his own country.
Why could I not just fade into the gray of the popular faith of the day is beyond me? Why couldn't I be content with the "smile offerings" and the "shallow connections" that seem to get everybody else through life? Why did I have to take eternity so seriously? Why was I in need of making sure "It was well" with the soul of every human being that I shared a moment of time? Why couldn't I just assume all was well? AND why did the freaking tears have to fill my eyes when others would laugh their way through their days?
Some would say that I was a little "off my rocker", "slightly imbalanced", "out of touch with reality", "emotionally fragile" ... but to know the implication of my full salvation because of His "Bloody Sacrifice" on the Cross; and to know the power of His resurrection on each and every moment of my life; and to know the fellowship, groaning, and fullness of the Spirit in battle for the lost souls of men ... I would trade what the world calls stable and sure, for the instability of this declaration: "I am crucified with Christ, never the less I live; yet not I; but Christ lives in me: and the life that I NOW live... I live by the faith of the Son of God., who loved me, and gave Himself for me. " Galatians 2:20
Every day, because of being in the Middle ... it is like we, the faith followers of Christ, are in a velvet bagged box of our own ashes, while the world looks on and wonders ... who we are and why we are so passionate about Jesus. Why can't we live and just let others live whatever way they want to? Because:
WE believe that Jesus is the only Way that leads away from eternity lost.
WE believe that Jesus is the only Truth that has eternal connecting consequence.
WE believe that Jesus is the only Life source that makes humanity truly alive and raises them from death
--because NO MAN can come to the Father but by Him.
Once WE have trusted Him , we live because He lives, and WE believe WE ARE HIS.
1 Corinthians 6:19,20 - "What know ye not, that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, which lives in you, which ye have of God and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
HLFA,
Jeff