Please try hard again to hear the Still Small Voice, O tender broken-hearted Saint. God knows that your personal pain speaks ever so loudly, and confirms so assuredly with your disappointment ... that it is hard to "hear" the words of encouragement (let alone begin to "believe" those words). He knows that doubt has slithered its way into your life, convincing you that "it - doubt" is a permanent resident and a trusted gate keeper. God sees that doubt guards every access route to your heart to make sure that the Song of Hope has no opportunity to be heard. God has stood waiting while doubt speaks so loudly that hope is quickly squelched in a hellish confidence that boldly announces, "Healing is for others but not for you; for God has deemed you unworthy." He has watched you shift your faith in Him to a faith in things that continue to rip at the very fiber of your spirit.
"Oh lonely sojourner, gain balance in the fact that there is no testing, no tempering, no stressing of your life that is not common unto all sojourners." (1 Cor. 10:13a ) There will always be proof, if you so choose to accept it, that "you are significant" ... or why would God walk with you while "Why this is happening to me if He truly loved me?" The only thing God singles out His kids for is for the fortifying of our faith by His active, extravagant, loving care for each one of us ( and His care is not without purpose, it is for our good and for His glory).
175 passengers trying to squeeze into their enumerated pole positions, (60 at a pop) all trying to line up according to a Letter and a Number. Some sojourners were very irritated by the fact that their numerical placement was not what they had hoped for as others of "lower degree and social standing" were moving into placement before them.
There were commonalities created for this event which should have created unity:
1. All at one specified moment (but not a minute before that time) were subservient to a data entry time frame and a computerized response that reacted to their key strokes.
2. All would harbor some degree of suspicion of anyone that would move in front of them or try to squeeze awkwardly behind them without announcement verification of their personal assignment.
3. All would have to deal with those who would stand like guards at Buckingham palace, almost immovable, once they had secured their mostly vague place to stand in the lineup.
4. All brandished the proof of their standing either by a piece of paper or a digital facsimile.
5. All would move forward and eventually end up in the same destination ... no matter what.
[Note of interest: A seat was guaranteed but no particular seat was guaranteed... just a controlled variation of the old process of "first come, first serve".] Even though there was so much commonality, it didn't seen to eliminate the waves of anxiety. And what would the stressing gain as the acts of the event moved forward? "Nada!"
Although the different tension colors filled the scene like a strange unseen oppressive rainbow, there was no chance of a personal pot of gold at the end, only the looming promise of several hours of discomfort caused by what ever seating awaited beyond the gate. All for one and one for all.
Discomfort expectations were experienced as the line of assignees lumbered their way down a floating hallway-like Gang plank. There was another growing source of tension as the participants in this pageant were released into their vessel of constraint ... There was another promise of ... the invasion of personal space that was evidenced by the constant verbal reminder that announced "The fact" that every seat would be filled on this flight.
Finally with "All" seated in their personal emotional choices of the oncoming time of differential expectations and endurance levels... the flight in time and space... was now in the competent hands of The Captain. No turning back!
In our flight of Faith it all boils down to "All for One and One for all." The "Captain of Your Soul" will keep you headed Due North... trust the author and finisher of your flight with the placement of your seat. He will see us through!
HLFA,
Jeff
PS - In the midst of the flight keep this in your heart and mind - "And they will know that ye are My disciples if you have love one to another."