(Be careful not to read too much into this HLFA – unless the mirror is staring back at you)
The toughest reality on this side of the Veil is that the world will create a mirage of loneliness that our flesh so quickly buys into. Within this loneliness "buy in" our soul can be crushed to the point that depression rules, hope is deferred and heart becomes strength-less or helpless to beat at a rate that signifies life. This "crushing" definitely can be on the tail end of the "forgive me - forgive me not" cycle that will be part of our working through a personal disastrous choice for sin (instead of choosing His Desire for us). ("There hath no temptation taken you but such is common to man")
Sometimes we will try to infuse life back into our being with a noble endeavors, that we may even risk to call God's Will. These endeavors may breathe momentary life back into our existence, but because they are fueled merely by the desperate need for worth and acceptance, the endeavors become an obsession that runs our soul deeper into disappointment. Fits of Rage and threatening may become our new tool to motivate others instead of love and prayerful encouragement as we cling to our endeavor like it was our only hope for existence. While we push forward at our endeavor we could even begin to alienate ourselves further by casting aside anybody who can't catch "our vision." Our heart may start rating people as "stupid" and "useless" (though we wouldn't say this openly) as they either fit or don't fit our direction of movement. ("but God is faithful")
Now with the onset of this "rating" of the worth of others ... through the filter of "Our Endeavor" ... we are thinning out the voices that could encourage us. Those who seem to make the connection to God without any difficulty "must be doing something wrong" or "are naive to reality." Our people connections are reducing, our position is becoming more awkward, and the growing hopelessness is now a daily occurring cloud over our life. We truly believe that "no one understands" and "this has never happened to anyone else" ... without any effort a new pride will set in that will usher us into further disappointment. WHAT WE REALLY WANT IS FADING INTO "NOT FOR ME." ("He will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able")
HOLD ON (this is not a disconnect and if you breathe it will be coherent) - I was thoroughly enjoying a meal at local Mexican restaurant with my Wife, Two of my Sons, one daughter n' law, and one Grandson. The enjoyment was caused mostly by my Grandson's fascination with a rainbow, which he could easily watch from the window of the restaurant. His two-year-old (plus) fascination had a ton of wisdom ... I mentioned that God made bow just for him as well as others. His face was all aglow as he blurted out, "I see God." His Dad mentioned that He sees God everywhere. I told my Grandson that it is almost like God took his finger and painted the rainbow in the sky. With a sweeping motion of his finger, the little guy spoke out "God loves me" and pointing to me "He loves you" ... more pointing followed ... "and Becky and Jeremy and Nana and Daddy and" ... as he looked around the room full of people, "and everyone." As the rainbow began fade the little guy was a little discouraged because he couldn't see the rainbow as clearly, BUT he assured me "I can still see God!" ("and will with the temptation make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it" I Corinthians 10:13).
Life will get a little messier as the little guy grows up but if his "heart to see God" can be nurtured and encouraged the "reality" will become a blessing and not a curse. We all are dealt different sets of blessing and heartaches... as the rainbow fades we have a choice to call out to the One who made the Bow - "Stand by Me" or to turn to depression and disappointment as we allow a moment to separate us from Him. Isaiah 8:17 - "And I will wait upon the Lord, that hideth His face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for Him." Isaiah 40:31 - "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall rise up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
In the midst of faults and failures, Stand by me (stand by me);
In the midst of faults and failures, Stand by me (stand by me);
When I do the best I can, And my friends misunderstand,
Thou Who knowest all about me, Stand by me (stand by me).
(Third section of the Hymn "Stand by Me" by Charles Albert Tindley)
Jesus desires to Stand by you ... let Him.
HLFA,
Jeff