Secret Meadow of Cruelty

My strength was near gone and it was so hard to draw a breath without an aching that had now wrapped itself around me like a sweater of steel. Every step and every breath was a labor that I must do, but I struggled at both. I knew the enemy was not far behind, but where in this darkness could I stop to recharge in order to put up a proper fight. “Rest” was what my tortured body was screaming for. “Sleep” was flashing like a caution sign going on and off in my weary mind. There has to be a break in this darkness, a hiding place!

All of a sudden the noises of threatening brutality that seemed not far behind me ceased. Almost miraculously, I was standing on the edge of a beautiful meadow filled with promises of secrets that would satisfy the soul. Every sound from the meadow was welcoming and peaceful. Every smell was carrying my heart to an expectation of the rest I had so desired. It was secluded, and possibly had hidden itself out of the knowledge of the enemy. What would such a destructive offender even consider useful in the beauty of this meadow? With his total focus on stealing, killing and destroying, this part of his domain must have hidden itself from his intolerance for anything that could bless, heal and restore.

Psalm 74:19 – “O deliver not the soul of Thy turtledove unto the multitude of the wicked: forget not the congregation of Thy poor for ever.”

My heart was now beating so loudly that it would possibly overcome the sound of my straining breath. Was this the answer to my deepest need and momentary desire? I took a step into the meadow with my entire being sinking into the expectation of securing success. Here I was overwhelmed with the strong sense that I was safe and protected. Oh, hope was rising and my soul was sizing up the opportunity to regroup, grow stronger, and once again find worth in my life!  

My first step into the beauty of the meadow didn't end me, so I quickly positioned myself to accept the desired rest. Sleep was quickly overcoming my eyes. Soon I curled up on the soft grasses in the middle of the meadow and slipped away into a dreamy “in and out” state of consciousness. With this choice of ease (while I leaned on my own decision for safety), unknowingly, I had given full opportunity for failure to establish its mark on me. The enemy now quietly arose from his hiding place in the midst of the tender beauty of the meadow. He began shackling me to my false sense of hopeful expectation. Here he would chain me to my memories of failure and promises of future defeat. When I would awake, I would be trapped in disappointment, and resolved to further curse my existence. What was this secret meadow of cruelty? And how could I allow myself to be so vulnerable?

Psalm 74:20 - “Have respect unto Thy covenant; for the dark places of the earth are full of the habitations (meadows) of cruelty.”

Why is it that the life we live as believers is so full of disappointing rest areas of empty promises, dashed hopes, and shattered dreams? Why are these beautiful meadows of false accusations, shallow commitments, and “user” relationships just waiting for every tired broken heart that is expecting a miracle? In Psalm 73 the writer stares honestly at the lives of those who have no accountability with eternity and dare to hold a disdain towards God and His people. He openly declares that their lives on the surface seem (though they flaunt their sinfulness and perversion) widely celebrated, overtly happy, openly successful, apparently undisturbed, proudly rebellious, and fearless even unto death. This troubles the Psalmist's soul because it doesn't appear fair in the light of so many of God's people that seem poor, down trodden, out cast, alienated, and deprived of the “finer things” of life. That is until ...vs. 17 - “Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end.” It was the “sanctuary” time that revealed what was real!

Now please do not turn the channel just yet. And do not walk away offended... but hear this thought and do something about it to elevate your perception and rise above your self-punishing situation. The only way to get the right perspective for victory above the deception is to develop the habit of running to the “sanctuary” of God. This is an attitude of living that chooses God's Word and promises as far more sacred and reliable than any other utterance or philosophy that radiates from this side of Heaven. This is a habit of life that constantly longs for, listens to, and relies upon the time spent with Jesus in prayer and in personal Bible study. This “sanctuary time” is where we gather the courage needed to not be disappointed in the “meadows” of cruelty. Stuff happens on this side of Heaven.

Satan's voice is so loud and threatening where time with Jesus is neglected. Your defeat is sure when God's voice is distant. Your victory over self-devaluing situations will be proportionate to your “sanctuary time” alone with Him. The answer for relief is not found in the beautiful meadows, but in our beautiful God. Trust Him, spend time with Him, and let Him love you.
 
Psalm 74:21 –“O let not the oppressed return ashamed: let the poor and needy praise Thy name.”

HLFA,

Jeff

NUMB

I'm numb. No, I am not talking about the numbness I get in my left hand because of a childhood disease that was compounded by chemotherapy 28 years later (19 years ago). Come to think of it, this physical numbness seems to be more prevalent during our current troublesome days. BUT, now that you allowed me to mention it, let me walk you through the physiological steps that take place in me that might be key to my more detrimental “numbness”... which is a numbness of heart and soul caused by being overwhelmed by the “cosmos”, the adornment, the world.

Anytime there is a stress caused by awkwardly supporting this weakness or pain inflicted on my life (this can be caused by both physical and mental stress), my upper left torso will literally curl in and stiffen up as a reaction. Although I am unaware of my body's response at first, I will soon sense it as I reach out and try to touch any object only to be greeted with a numbness that will now be evident in my left hand. Sometimes this “numbness” will be accompanied by a twitching sensation in my left brachial plexus (this is near the wing area of the back). This spasmodic sensation, while I was going through chemotherapy, made me think I was having a heart attack. Soon, It would be revealed that I was coddling the pain and stress, and due to this I would pull my body out of joint. The advice when this would begin to happen … “relax and have someone else massage the center of the pain” (My beautiful Wife has helped in this area throughout the years).

NOW – What is the real numbness that I am concerned with? It comes into my soul anytime I am overwhelmed with the inequities that I face on this side of eternity. FACT: Things are “not fair” (so much of the time) and more so when we are facing our own helplessness in the mix ( I can do nothing!). We do not have the ability to see even remotely what God sees, and to know what God knows about the personal nature and character of the billions of individuals on this planet. Satan also … will always throw “innocence” into the bubbling caldron of the “Where is God?” stew. And the deceiver intensifies the issue by supporting our whining with scriptural promises that it appears God has failed keep. {Irritating Sidebar: We will always have excuses why we don't love those that we could be there for … in our own house and own community ... while we continue to complain about the inequities of the Kingdom and failures of God on the other side of the world. }

With the advent of our digital age, our eyes can see further and our hearts can be more troubled because of the vastness of this world's adornment that is littered with atrocities, inequities, and shame. We can be so saturated with the lies of the facade that we will step up as judges; daring even to be judges of righteousness, and begin hurling accusations towards others, towards“church”, towards “faith”, and towards God. We really don't want another perspective when we are numb, because we love to create and coddle our own suffering.

Soon we don't read, heed, or even need God's Word, while His voice gets lost in our spasmodically pained hearts. The numbness takes over, and we become extremely fatigued with the whole concept of life and living for a higher purpose (let alone just living!). Our adversary agrees - “What is the use? … “God doesn't do anything when I pray anyhow.”

When will I learn ... that to move from my numbness and find real life in “coming after” Christ:

• I must vigorously deny myself (disconnect from trying to make a whining name for myself by identifying only with my selfish needs),
• take up “my”cross of Christ (in a visible, DAILY, committed, ownership of the truth of the Cross' effects on my life and the world around me),
• and Follow Jesus (daily moving out of my fragile and quickly fading comfort zone and into the encouraging conflict to rescue eternal souls).

For this discourse here is a pattern for a a prayer request found in Psalm 68:30 that we can also take up when the “not fair” is closing in, and we are bending to judge instead of letting God take care of the situation: “God, please rebuke those standing around with judgmental measuring sticks, goad with correction the stubborn bullish crowd and their mouthy offspring, transform their assets that are given to wickedness to offerings that support righteousness: personally scatter and disperse any people, even family and friends, that get their satisfaction from stoking the fires of doubt filled conflict.”

Start this rebuking with me! 
I must throw away my prideful measuring stick, turn from my stubbornness, stop gathering together with my whining “Jeff” disciples, and crucify my desire to prove I am righteousness.
Bow with me!

HLFA,

Jeff

PS (Prayer Statement) – Lord, please, keep me from the numbness of my heart and soul, so that when I reach out I can truly touch others for Thee in a way that honors you. I will relax and let you massage my pain and numbness away.

What are you doing here?

The Wilderness of Where You Have Been It happened as it always does, an adversary threatened the security of the Spokesman. Up until this time there were many miraculously dramatic events that had highlighted his life and validated his position. Then, as it always does, the threat came … not only to end his ministry but also to end his life. (How would we respond?)

Like most of us, this Servant of God tried to go backwards to find security, direction, safety, a place to sulk in his fear. He was truly worn out. He had given everything for the task, and now was thoroughly drained. He traveled to Beersheba, the Well of the Sevenfold Oath, and left his servant there as he continued into the wilderness where others before him had sought the face of God. Beersheba was the boundary of the kingdom and held much spiritual historical significance for this Servant and so many others like him. Great leaders and great life changing agreements happened here. Perhaps he could find clarity or just maybe he could find relief in death. What he would find (as we will too when we go to God in our hours of desperation) was rest, sustenance, and direction in the Wilderness of Beersheba.

Strengthening would come in the wilderness because God would meet him there but not leave him there. God would get his full attention via a great destructive wind, an earth quake, a fire and finally a still small voice which would repeat a question he had heard earlier – “What doest thou here, Elijah? (Please take the time to read the full story – I Kings 19 – there is so much there for the heart of the servant that feels threatened by an uncertain future). Elijah would answer that question a second time, but God wouldn't leave him wallowing in his rehearsed answer – He would set Elijah moving forward. The safety that Elijah would find would be in trusting the voice of the living God.

Strangely though, God moves Elijah from one wilderness to another? What.. Leave the wilderness of Beersheba, leave the holy mount? It was and is... a must. The Wilderness of the Well of the Sevenfold Oath was a place of “and I, even I only, am left”. It is only to be a place of spiritual retreat and not a permanent residence. If Elijah had stayed in this wilderness, the message of God (that had been spoken through his life) would have died there with him.

{THIS IS THE POINT IN OUR READING WHERE WE NEED TO SLOW DOWN AND THINK … stop, get a hot tea, a drink of water, a healthy cookie … something that will ease the body and mind's need to get it done … relax and think this through:}

The Lord sends Elijah to the Wilderness of Damascus, but why Damascus? (There can be a multitude of great answers but we will consider only one in this discourse.) Damascus would time and again be a stronghold of activity and conflict that would set it as a center of worldly influence. Danger was inevitable there because it was a center of the prideful disrespect for God's true kingdom of believers. Damascus, even today, is a storehouse rich in worldly education and culture that is touted as its own “Kingdom”.

The actual meaning of it's name is one to ponder - “Silent is the Sackcloth Weaver”. There is no need of sackcloth (used as a covering in the act of repentance) in this kingdom. It's occupants feel they can do nothing wrong. In this kingdom of mirages the citizens have no need of repentance. In this shameless, pride-filled, self-absorbed kingdom, the sackcloth weavers have nothing to do, hence, they are silent. This is the place that the watchful eye of the enemy won't be looking because it is his stronghold. Here in this place void of repentance, Elijah is told to go here and anoint those who will carry out God's plan to perpetuate what Elijah had begun.

Wow … not my first choice of direction!

We are still living in the Days of Elijah (And more-so in light of Christ's imminent return)… our portion in Christ's Kingdom is not found in trying to create a monk-like existence that keeps us away from the bright lights of the "mirage" because we feel threatened by the unseen enemy. Our portion is to go into the heart of the stronghold, storm the gates of Hell, rescue the perishing, care for the dying, and share the Good News of Jesus in those places where the Sackcloth weavers are silent.

It's OK to go back to the wilderness where you have been of old with God; but just for a moment, just for refreshment, and just for clarity of thought. But,  rise up now and move forward for the Glory of God. Live openly for Jesus!

HLFA,

Jeff

Happy Mother's Day - 2013

Confusion Was Not My First Choice

 
I Corinthians 14:33 – "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints."  

Oh the shear fear and terror that can sweep over the soul when being left alone in a strange place with strange people.

• The car breaks down in an area of a city known for “crime”, you have no money, you have no bearing as to where you are, your cell phone is dead, and a stranger is fast approaching your car.
• You wake up in a room in a hospital with all kinds of people around you and machines hooked up to you via tubes and wires. There is buzzing, beeping and human chatter but you have no idea how you got there and no idea of your condition.
• No one is talking to you. You walk into a meeting and it seems like no one looks your way nor acknowledges your existence. Finally when you are addressed, you find out you are being accused for something that isn't remotely connected to who you are and what you do, and NOW your sense of security is totally threatened.

This could go on and on … each of us could offer story-like scenarios, drawn from our life experiences, that raise emotional responses that throw us into the whirlwind of fear, shame and confusion. It is like we work off of an undependable GPS system that has a tendency to take us right up to the point of a decision. At that point it then gives us the directions after we have missed our turn...And by then “recalculate” is not an option.

We have all come to the brink of the breaking point. We have all been faced with the “impossible” and have either chosen to “cave in” and live with its looming results, or attempt to seek out relief while operating on a thinning cord of rescue. Those who attempt to handle it all on their own, usually come away with a hyped and short lived victory speech. While right around the corner “bam!”, they sink deep into great loss of life that doesn't always reveal itself until it is too late. Man was not made to handle the impossible but to hand off the impossible. If a situation is way out of my control, then it is way out of my control. The sooner I come to this conclusion … the sooner I can hand it off to Someone who can and longs to do something about it.

An out-of-season choice for leisure, a wandering eye, a lustful desire, a stolen romance, an untimely pregnancy, a cover up via murder … The only thing left was the discovery of the crime and the death penalty... or so it seemed in the life of David. Then the cry for mercy went out, and the impossible was handed off. David learned that God listened … and with each prayer, love grew.

Psalm 116:1,2 - “I love the Lord, because He hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because He hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.”

Here is a truth for God's kids caught in the cross fire: He has focused His attention on the sound of your voice ...and He personally is ready and is willing and is able to come to your rescue. God is not the author of the events that bring confusion, instability and shame into our lives; but shame and humiliation is an inevitable occurrence on this side of Heaven. Developing a reflex to cry out to our Father will ultimately bring the peace that we need to move forward. PRAY!

Oh by the way – God's support system is also there for you when you violate His word, and bring the confusion, guilt and shame on yourself. This support system is known as forgiveness … but it starts with your confession to Him that you were wrong. Turn to Him for His cleansing. He has never left even one of His Kids, and will never leave any of His kids... unclean.
Quit justifying your sin, and turn it over to Him.

HLFA,

Jeff